Adopting Older Boys - Breaking the Ice

When we arrived at the Civil Affairs office in Kunming, GW was sitting on the couch as we walked in.  Not exactly the meeting we were expecting.  When we arrived at the Civil Affairs office in Nanjing, TJ was walking into the building in front of us.  Not the meeting we were expecting their either. 

For both boys, we had a photo album that we had put together and brought with us.  We also had journal/diary/blank books for them.  Both boys referrals said they liked to draw, so we brought pencils and drawing paperfor them.  Since we met both boys during Chinese New Year, we also brought "hong bao" (the red envelopes) for them.  We put yuan in them as we figured dollars wouldn't mean much at the time.  If you are meeting your children around a Chinese holiday, I would highly recommend that you research what, if anything, parents do for their kids for this holiday and do likewise if possible.  That way, the kids will understand that you know a little about their culture. 

If possible, bring one of your kids with you.  Having JA with us I know made things easier for GW as JA sat with him while we were busy doing paperwork. 

I wish we had brought a pack of gum for them, both of them like it and it would have been a good gift.  Also, candy (buy some in China) would have been a good thing to bring.  If we had bought cameras (instead of the Nintendo DSi) I would have taken those to the meeting. 

If you are able to ask questions at the time, ask as many as possible of the child him(her)self.  (i.e. likes/dislikes, etc).  Don't forget some of the questions about personal hygiene (Western toilets, baths, tooth brushing, menstruation for girls, etc) though you might want to ask these back at the hotel with your guide or ask outside of earshot of the kids.