When you adopt an older child, you must take into consideration the fact that to a large extent, they have been very independent for a long time. They learned a long time ago to not express their needs as no one is there to meet their needs. As a result, they learn to meet their needs themselves. For younger kids, this comes out as not crying when hurt and self-soothing behaviors. For older kids, this shows up as wanting to do everything themselves (i.e. fixing meals, taking care of boo-boos, etc) and not making basic needs known.
Last night, though, right before bedtime, I told all four boys to brush their teeth. JA, AT and TJ were in their room and were told first and got it done. About 10 minutes later, I told GW to brush his teeth. Shortly after, he found me and showed me the empty toothpaste tube. Now this may not seem like much, but not long ago, I found out from a friend (whose teenage daughter has attachment issues) that her teenage daughter never told them about an empty toothpaste tube. Needless to say, I was never so happy to have a child inform me about the need for more toothpaste.
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