Attachment is a process. It comes in small steps. With TJ, this has been very evident. When he first came home, he would accept my affection (hugs and kisses) but he was very stiff with them. After a while, he started running away when I would try to kiss/hug him (in a fun, playful, chase me manner). A few weeks ago, he quit running, but started covering his cheeks so I can't kiss his cheek. That's OK, I just smother the back of his neck with kisses while I hug him! Finally, in the last day or so, I've been able to sneak a kiss or two onto his cheek!
Also, I haven't gotten much in terms of affection in return (one hug, I think?). But two nights ago, when he came and sat down beside me at the computer, he put his hand on my back and ran it across my back as he sat down. Then today, he patted me on the head (like I do to him every day) as I walked out the door to work.
It is truly amazing how special little things become when you are dealing with Post-institutionalized kids. Things that we take for granted every day are suddenly momentuous occasions.
Bringing home a child from an orphanage changes your perspective on everything.
The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. Matthew 13:44-46
1 comment:
Found your blog thru the advocate group. Just read the whole section on older kid adoption. Great points, and fantastic list of resources! I think I recognize the science center as Jacksonville, FL--am I right? We have baby monitors in the house too. I agree, you can't be too cautious. Janet-soon mom to 8
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