Last night, HJ and I went for a bike ride - just the two of us. We were barely out of the driveway when the questions started.
HJ: How long was I with my China mom? (her foster mom)
Me: About 2.5 years.
HJ: Is that a long time?
Me: Well, in some ways yes and in some ways no.
HJ: Why did my tummy mom take me to the orphanage?
Me: I don't know. It might have been because she couldn't take care of you.
HJ: Does anyone know who my tummy mom is?
Me: No, no one knows. When you are older, we can try to find her if you want to. But I can't promise that we will find her.
Her focus then shifted to questions/comments about our bike ride. Then just as seemlessly, the questions/ comments started again.
HJ: Sometimes I miss my China mom when I'm sad.
Me: You can always come to me or dad when you are sad.
HJ: But sometimes you aren't home.
Me: Then you can go to grandpa.
Then back to comments about our bike ride. Then at bedtime just before prayers, she asked about her first and second family again.
HJ: I really want to see my tummy mom and my China mom.
Me: You'll just have to ask God to show them to you.
HJ: Dear God, Can you please show me my tummy mom and my China mom? Jesus, thank you for my mom and dad doing so many papers to get me and TJ and GW. I'm glad to have a family. Amen
Me: Tomorrow, why don't you draw a picture of your tummy mom and your China mom.
HJ: Ok and I can include me and Hambone (our dog), too.
I'm so glad that I've read alot from other families about these questions and how best to answer them. Tonight, I wasn't quite expecting this line of questions as they usually come when she is in the bathtub. I'm sure it is going to be very interesting when I start having these conversations with TJ and GW.
The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. Matthew 13:44-46
1 comment:
If I were a betting person, I would be willing to BET these questions are going to come more and more since her new brothers came home.
I was shocked at how S's brothers' arrival really brought out more and more and deeper and deeper questions.
We have had almost the exact same conversation. We are working together on her lifebook, and she had done several drawings. I have been amazed at what she has done.
If you have one already, maybe you could add drawings to it and/or begin one. I have even had her dictate to me what she sees in her first mother. Again, amazing the depth.
Hugs, leslie
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