This Means War

There is a free e-book on Amazon today:
This Means War: Equipping Christian Families for Foster Care or Adoption

As an adoptive or foster parent, have you ever felt in over your head, and about to sink? You're not alone! This Means War was written to lift you up and give you a second wind!

Happy, successful, easy adoptions are a reality! Many times the children are no more or less difficult to parent than average. However, sometimes raising adopted kids is extremely difficult. 

______________________________________________________________

Fetal Alcohol effects... bonding attachment disorder... self-abusive... violent, destructive, aggressive... fire starter... _______________________________________________________________

Are you really prepared to adopt? Read on as experienced foster, adoptive and even grandparents share stories of success, but also of struggles. 

Many entered adoption unprepared and were quickly overwhelmed. We wondered why our parenting methods failed. Why didn't our love heal these children? Why were our previously happy families now falling apart? 

We lacked vital information about invisible disabilities; we didn't know how profoundly neglect damages an infant. We didn't realize we'd signed up to be missionaries to miniature heathens - nor that a spiritual enemy opposed us. Perhaps we assumed the natural state of man, apart from negative influence or defective genes, would be an ideal person; in the Garden of Eden... maybe.

We're not in the Garden anymore! 

Before, during and after you adopt, pray for protection and guidance - and be sure you read This Means War!

"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength...'" (Isaiah 30:15a NIV)

24 Days of Giving Families

Here is the list of families who are in need of funds to complete their adoptions.  Please prayerfully consider donating to them during this season of GIVING.  If you don't know what this is about, please go here to read about The 24 Days of Giving

Our China Girl
The King's Family Blog
The Ankerich Family  The Ankerich Family  bringing home two!
Province of Love
Lanz Adoption Adventure
The Pancoast Family
The Henningfeld Family
The Hortons
Greatly Blessed
The Smiths
The Lloyd's
The Gaines
The Harvey's
The Rylands
The McKenzie's
Miranda's Sister Wish
Bringing Home Elias

If you have sent me a comment and don't yet see your blog listed here, it is most likely because of one of two things:
1) You didn't send a link to a specific blog post telling about your family and your adoption.
2) You don't have anywhere on your blog to donate.

You MUST have these two things before I can post you.  I don't have time to scour your blog for an appropriate post to link to, so you have to do a little bit of work for me.  Also, you can link back to this post in your post so others will find there way here to hopefully bless more families.

Thanks!

Third Annual 24 Days of Giving

Ok, it's already day 3 of our traditional 24 Days of Giving, but life has been kicking me in the b*tt this year.  So, unfortunately, I won't be able to do the 24 Days of Giving as I had in the past.  But don't fret, we are STILL doing it!!!

Two years ago, we started this family tradition. it is our attempt to help families who are fundraising for an adoption.  Christmas is about giving, so in the spirit of the season, I bring to you

The 24 Days of Giving

I want to highlight families who are fundraising for their adoption on my blog for the next 24 days.  This year is going to be different though due to my time constraints.  If you want to be included in the 24 Days of Giving, here is what you need to do:

Post a comment to this post with a permalink to a blog post about your adoption (i.e. where you are in the process, which country, how to contribute) and your family.   I will then create an ever-growing blog post that stays at the top of my blog where people can link to your stories.

Remember, this is about giving - so this isn't the place for you to promote things you are doing/selling to fundraise, this is about people GIVING for the sake of GIVING.  So please don't link to fundraising posts or I won't include you. (and I really want to include your family)

If you aren't in the adoption process, please prayerfully consider donating to one or more of these families as a part of your Christmas giving this year. 

But here is the best part:

Our family will GIFT to one lucky family a sizable donation for their adoption;  This is our Christmas gift to you this year.  If you want to peek at last years winner, go here Loving Life with Lexi and Ivy Joy

To be eligible for the donation from our family, just add your link to a blog post in the comments.  Please feel free to link to this post and the post that will list all of the families on your blog.  

We will put all of the entries in a hat and as a part of our Christmas Eve celebration, we will choose the lucky winner.  I will announce the winner on my blog on Christmas Day.

So, spread the word to all your friends.  And this isn't just for international adoptions, it is for domestic adoptions as well.  And may we all enjoy the best GIFT of all this Christmas

JESUS

Love Your Neighbor

Yesterday, we had a different Thanksgiving.  The kids and I got up early (like 6:30am!) and went to church. We helped prepare Thanksgiving lunch for the residents of a local mobile home park.  This particular mobile home park is very run down.  Many mobile homes have been removed due to being uninhabitable.

The kids became the "Mashed Potato Crew".  The night before, others had peeled and cut up a TON of potatoes.  When we arrived, the kids loaded the potatoes into steamer trays and then loaded the trays into the steamer.  Fifteen minutes later, they took the trays out and dumped the steamed potatoes into the mixer.  They then put the next load of potatoes in the steamer.  While the first batch was steaming, I heated the milk and butter to be ready for mixing.  We kept up this routine for probably a good hour and a half!  There was a LOT of mashed potatoes when we were done.  In fact, they had so many potatoes, that they decided to use some of them for Wed night chicken pot pies in the future.  BUT, they needed the potatoes cut smaller.  I volunteered TJ as he is excellent with a knife and routinely helps me cut up veggies at home.

The girls and I made lemonade; AT helped with making tea while BG continued to monitor the potatoes.  (We left JA and CP at home due to their injuries!)  Then it was time to start loading up some of the food so the boys helped load a number of pies, cakes, and bread to take to the mobile home park.  CP showed up a little later with JA and Grandpa and took the kids to the park.  I stayed behind to finish cutting up the turkeys.

We arrived at the MHP and had a wonderful Thanksgiving Lunch with the residents.  I met two people:  Robert and Amber.  Robert is probably in his mid to late 50s and has lived a hard life.   Right now he doesn't have a job and spends his days playing with his dogs.  Amber is probably 18-20 and lives with her grandparents.  She is trying to get a job, but is finding it difficult.  She told me she called 34 places last week and only 5 suggested that she come in and put in an application. However, she doesn't have a car, a bicycle or any money for the bus to get there.  Even if she was able to get the job, she wasn't sure how she would get to and from it every day.

As I was telling a friend about this, he commented that there is a critical level of resources needed here in the US (including transportation) that once you fall below that level, it is very hard to climb back out.  Even if she had a bicycle, if it rains on her way to work, I'm sure they wouldn't be happy to have a soaking wet employee on the job.

Last night, we enjoyed North Carolina Bar-B-Q that Grandpa brought home from his trip.  The meal was completed with Brunswick Stew, brown and serve rolls, homemade cole-slaw, boiled potatoes and pumpkin pie.

I think it was one of the best Thanksgivings I have ever had.

Radical Ideas on Schooling - Part 1

We have been walking this road called Homeschooling for almost five years now.  Our road has had many twists and turns in it and as a result, I have come to some conclusions that many might consider somewhat radical. 

A little background on our homeschooling adventure:

Students:
BG:  ESL learner - K-7th grade in China; 7th grade - 9th grade homeschooled
JA : gifted learner - K-3rd grade Public School; 3rd - 8th homeschooled
AT: gifted learner - K-2nd grade Public School; 2nd - 7th homeschooled
TJ: ESL learner - K-2nd grade in China; 4th-6th grade homeschooled
SG:  average learner - K-4th grade homeschooled
HJ:  challenged learner - K-3rd grade homeschooled

Curriculum's we've used:
Online Charter School using Calvert
Calvert for K
Robinson Curriculum
Eclectic

Radical Idea #1:  Don't worry about what your kids are learning until they get to high school
===========================
Yes, I really mean that with two exceptions:
1) Teach them to read - and I have some odd ideas on this one
2) Teach them math (though this may not be as critical as we think)

Kids don't need to learn history, social studies, science, etc in the early years.  Why?  Because they will have every bit of it again in High School!!! Think about it - what do you remember from elementary school in these subjects?  Probably not much.  And what you do remember is probably fairly useless in your daily life.  (I remember a unit we did on weather and I can name the different types of cloud formations - not that anybody has asked me about them since 5th grade)

When I was first introduced to Robinson Curriculum, I was intrigued by the idea of only teaching Reading, Writing, and Math.  Leaving out all of the other subjects didn't sound right, but the more I read Art Robinson's ideas, the more I became convinced he was right.  Even this very science oriented engineer agreed that teaching science in the early years really wasn't that important.  Why?  Because science in the early years only barely scratches the surface.  Each year, you scratch the surface a little bit deeper.  Why bother?  Your child can learn all they need in-depth in high school (or heaven-forbid - college!) 

I was talking to JA about this the other day.  He said he didn't like science in public school and I asked him why not.  He said he didn't understand why he needed to know that rain falls from the sky, runs into a lake/pond, and then evaporates into the sky again.  He became convinced that he wasn't good at science (a quote from him before taking the science portion of the standardized test we gave in 6th grade) because he didn't like it.  Funny thing is, he has now decided he wants to be a doctor.  He is working through a life science curriculum and still isn't convinced that he likes science because of his previous experience. 

The same idea applies to history, social studies and all of the other subject areas.  This material will be repeated in high school at a level that the kids can really grasp.  Focus your (and your child's) efforts and energy learning in high school.  This is what they will remember and carry forward in their adult life. 

I finally was totally convinced of this idea when I began figuring out what I needed to teach BG for high school.  As I looked at the requirements in FL for a HS diploma, I realized that it covers all of the same subjects/topics that many parents stress about in the early years.  He hadn't "lost" all those years of learning (even though he was blessed to be in school in China) and I didn't have to cram 12 yrs of school into his brain in four years.  I just had to teach him at the high school level.

Also, as I delved into the idea of Credit By Exam for JA, I began to wonder what really differentiates a middle school class from a high school class from a college class.   For example, Biology, most schools teach Biology (or Life Science) in middle school, then again in High School, then it is taught in College.  What is the difference?  I'm not sure.  But I imagine if I take a High School Biology class then I will learn the same things I learned in middle school Life Science.  Then why bother taking the Life Science class?  Just wait until your child is able to handle the high school level material (which may be at an earlier age than "typical" high school students) and teach at that level. 

What's interesting is many packaged curriculums these days actually leverage this principle.  They use the same base information and just have the younger kids do one thing, the middle school kids something else and the high school kids even more.  Why teach the same thing to your kids 3 (or more) different times?  Just teach it to them once in high school. 

I know, many people will have a hard time accepting this idea because it doesn't fit the norm of what we grew up with in school.  I am going to challenge you to really think about this and come to your own conclusions.  Besides, that's what homeschooler's do best.

*** One caveat:  Some of this doesn't necessarily apply to our challenged learners.  I'll address those issues in a later post.

The Price of Obedience

I am so enjoying  my time to Be Still with God.  While I have missed a few days since I have started this, I am really trying to take time each morning on my way to work to listen and hear God speak.  The first day I committed to squeezing 5 min out of my schedule to Be Still and I went nearly nuts sitting and waiting for those 5 minutes.  This morning, I intentionally set my alarm on my phone for 15 min as the 10 min from yesterday just wasn't long enough.

Yesterday on my way to work, I stopped at what has become my "usual" spot.  On my way to where I sit, I noticed an older gentleman sitting on a nearby bench. I smiled and waved as I passed by.  When I was leaving, it clicked with me that this man is most likely homeless.  You see, the place where I stop is also a local hangout for some of our area homeless.  There was a bicycle at the bike rack with lots of stuff strapped to it which is indicative of a homeless person's bike.  I put 2 and 2 together and made the leap.  As I walked by on my way back to my car, I prayed that God would use me somehow in this situation.

This morning when I stopped, the bicycle was at the bike rack, but the man was not sitting on the bench.  So I went and sat at my "spot".  As I was sitting there enjoying God's creation, I glanced off to the side and noticed someone sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag.  I instinctively knew it was the man from yesterday. 

I hesitated. 

I wasn't sure what to do, but then God clearly spoke to me:  "Go buy him breakfast." 

I hesitated again.

And then some more - trying to rationalize that it would take too long and even though I had allotted myself a full 15 minutes, I wouldn't have time.

And then obedience kicked in. 

I got up, walked to my car, and prayed that he would still be there when I got back. 

I drove to the nearby McDonalds (so close I could see it from my car) and bought him some breakfast and some coffee.  As I drove back, sitting at the stop light, I wrote the man a note and put it in the bag:

"God loves you so much that He asked me to buy you breakfast this morning.  Give thanks to HIM."

As I walked to where he was, I noticed he was still sleeping.  I quietly placed the bag and coffee next to him and walked away.  There were two ladies sitting nearby who commented to me about what I had done.  My response was "Sometimes you just have to do what God tells you to do." 

On my way to my car, I started to cry.  I'm still unsure as to why this is the emotional reaction I had, but it was a good cry.  Maybe one that says, "I'm sorry God for hesitating.  I'm sorry for not being obedient in the past when presented with these opportunities."  I know one thing for sure.  I don't regret the time or the money one bit.

The Price of Obedience:  $4.60 and 15 minutes

Both Hands Project

I thought I would show you a little of what we did the other weekend to help our friends the Stockman's

Donate to Jerry and Laura's Adoption Fund Here

Both Hands

Next weekend, we have the privilege of helping a friend with fundraising for their adoption.  They have been chose by the Both Hands foundation to participate in a Both Hands project.  What this means is that our friends have identified a widow who needs help around her home.  They then recruit friends to help fix up the widow's house while others sponsor them for their work.

The widow we are helping is an adoptive mom herself.  She lost her husband last year to lung cancer - he was only in his 40's and didn't smoke.  You can watch his story here. They have one biological son and they adopted a boy from foster care who has severe Cerebral Palsy.

Our friends, Jerry and Laura, have two sons whom they adopted via domestic adoption.  This is the path that God has placed them on this time for expanding their family.

Would you consider sponsoring us as we help out two adoptive families?  If so, you can make a tax-deductible donation toward's Jerry and Laura's adoption here.  If you prefer to write a check, you can make it payable to Lifesong for Orphans and send it to P.O. Box 40 Gridley, IL  61744.  Please make sure you put Stockman #2420 in the memo line.

Easter Struggles

I know I blogged about struggling with Christmas back in December.  I struggled just as much with Easter this year.  Last year, we had our traditional Easter egg hunt for the kids, but this year I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  A few reasons:

1) We ended up painting our old house all weekend - including Sunday - and CP and I were exhausted.  When you homeschool, you have to take advantage of the opportunities that you have.  If CP isn't around, the kids tend to get sidetracked very easily and don't finish their work on time.

2)  I just don't think that Jesus would want us remembering his death and resurrection by hiding a bunch of eggs for our kids to find.  These holiday traditions really have nothing to do with what the day is about.  I read somewhere this weekend that we get the name Easter from the Anglo-Saxon goddess of Spring and Dawn - Eostre.  Also, the tradition of rabbits and eggs come from a story associated with Eostre. 

So we decided that we would celebrate Jesus giving his life for us by giving back to those in our community.  We went to a local church that serves the homeless lunch every Sunday. We did this two years ago and had an AWESOME time.  We were planning on helping out with serving, but when we got there they had SO many people helping that we ended up deciding to just go back home. 

I was truly surprised that on Easter they had so many people helping.  What was somewhat even more surprising was that the group responsible for helping that week was from a local company.  Not a church - a business. 

On a friend's blog, I read about another adoptive family's celebration of Easter.  I LOVE what they were able to do with their church.  I would SO love to find a church in our area that thinks this way.  So far, we haven't found one.

I am continuing to look for ways to instill in my children that after we become Christ followers, that we are to be His hands and feet to the world around us.  Yes, I realize we do that 24/7 with 3 kids from another culture in our home, but we can do more.  The struggle is in finding the time.  We spend too much time doing things for us;  we need to figure out how to spend more time doing things for others.

Showing Hope

Saturday night, AT, SG, HJ and I took a trek over to Lakeland for the Steven Curtis Chapman concert.  We were volunteering for Show Hope again.  While there, we met some wonderful adoptive families and got to work again with a sweet lady from north of our hometown.  (We've volunteered with her 3 times now!)  The girls also made friends with some other girls that were there to volunteer also.  The funny thing is that all the girls shared names!

Crazy Weekend

Before our very exciting Saturday with TJ, AT and I had a very fun and tiring evening on Friday.  We spent Friday night here

telling people about 

and

While we were there, we got to see 

and 

and

and 

We had an AWESOME evening, just AT and me!

An Update

So, earlier this week, I called the church we attended on Sunday and left a message for the youth pastor.  It took a few days, but he called me back yesterday and we had a wonderful conversation.

He explained to me that they DO ask/encourage the kids to bring their Bibles to church and if they don't, they have a bookshelf full of them to borrow from.  I should have known! 

My teenage son was being, well, a teenage boy!  He told me what he wanted me to hear and not "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth"!  So, I told them last night at dinner that I had talked to the youth pastor and that they ARE to bring their Bibles EVERY week with them.  No excuses! 

I also mentioned to the pastor what a great idea the Valentines Luncheon was.  He asked me if I was JA and BG's mom and I told him yes.  He wanted to know more about our family as he had sat with the boys at the luncheon for a while and talked with them.  He and I then went on to have a great talk about what his vision is for the youth.  I explained to him that we are looking for a church that helps the kids LIVE out the Bible by providing opportunities for them to do that.  He explained that this is also one of his goals.  We talked about an upcoming weekend retreat where the kids will be going out in the community to do service projects and how their summer camp is all about reaching out into the community. 

Needless to say, I was very pleased with our conversation and I think we will continue to find out more about this church.  It just might be the place where God wants us to worship and serve for the next few years.

Judgmental?

I wanted to address the Anonymous comment on my Milk or Meat? post.  For those that missed the comment, here it is:

"So just because the verses are on paper means they don't take the Bible seriously? Judgmental much?"

One other commenter suggested that I not allow Anonymous comments.  Actually, all my comments are on moderation, so I choose which ones get posted and which ones don't.  I wanted to post this one for two reasons.

Reason 1) The comment made me stop and think.  Am I being judgmental?  You see, CP and I had a discussion after church about this incident.  Maybe I got upset for the wrong reasons.  CP wasn't necessarily as upset about the issue as I was.  He grew up Catholic where, to him, everything was tradition and ritual.  In his view, things were done in church because that's the way they were done, not because they had a purpose or a meaning.  He was wondering if I was interested in the kids taking their Bibles for "show".  I explained to him, that no, I want the kids to take their Bibles because they should be USING their Bibles in church. 

So back to the comment.  Am I being judgmental?  What is the definition of judgmental?  According to Mirriam-Webster , judgmental means of, relating to, or involving judgment.  Judgment means

a: the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing b : an opinion or estimate so formed .

 

So, am I judgmental?  Yes.  I have formed an opinon by discerning and comparing.  This discerning and comparing was based on evidence presented to me over a period of a few weeks and through my son.  NOT based on preconceived notions with no basis in fact (i.e. not prejudice)

 

Is this unbiblical?  I don't think so.  Read  Phil 1:9-11

⁹ And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰ so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, ¹¹ filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

 

God (through Paul) tells us to grow in knowledge and insight so we CAN discern what is best.  I think my approach is Godly and Biblical.

 

Reason 2) I wanted an opportunity to respond and more thoroughly explain my position.  I didn't say that church (or the others) doesn't take the Bible seriously.  I haven't been going long enough to make this call yet.  What I do know is that they aren't asking the kids to read from the Bible.  They just hand them what they think is important and go from there.  If they are teaching the kids God's WORD, why not expect them to bring it to class? 

 

If my kids went to public school and showed up to class without their textbook, what do you think would happen?  (or maybe it doesn't anymore).  When I was in school, the teacher asked us to get out our books.  If we didn't have them, they would proceed to ask us why.  If the reason was lame, there was some discipline involved to help us remember to bring them next time (usually writing sentences like "I will not forget my book." or some such thing). 

 

The BOOK is important.  It is THE source.  Not some piece of paper that has a brief portion printed on it. What if they took that verse out of context?  (and I'm not saying they did - I don't even know what the text/lesson was for last week)  What if they only present the verses that support their interpretation of the events?  There are certainly plenty of churches that don't believe in the whole Bible and many principles they teach do NOT line up with Scripture when Scripture is taken as a whole. 

 

For the record, it was my JR High son that responded this way.  We aren't talking about 2nd and 3rd graders.  We're talking about kids who are being challenged DAILY to throw away their faith and follow the world. If we aren't teaching them to look in THE BOOK for their answers, but rather to just take what is fed to them by the teacher, what happens when they face a problem and a God-fearing adult isn't around to give them the answer?

 

We have our kids reading from their Bible at home, but my question is why is the Church NOT supporting me in this endeavor?

 

Maybe it is because of this lack of truly reading and studying the BIBLE that the church has turned a blind eye to things like this  Fortunately, I think this church doesn't turn a blind eye to the commands of the Bible to be doers of God's word.  This is based on their living out James 1:27 as I described here

 

I just hope that I am effectively communicating to my kids how important the Bible is in making decisions on a daily basis; whether the church is supporting me or not.

 

Milk or Meat?

Yesterday, I got very frustrated as we walked out the door to church.  We have been visiting a different church for the last few weeks and we have visited a couple of different churches over the last few months.  We have encountered this issue at every church we have visited (and even at the church which we have attended for the last 8 yrs)

When we walked out the door, I noticed that 3 of my children did not have their Bibles with them.  I mentioned it and told them they needed to go get them.  They quickly responded, "We don't need them. They give us the verses we need to read on a paper." 

I was NOT a happy momma!

I am trying to teach my children that reading their Bible is important.  Why should the church (of all places) not be reinforcing this idea? 

When my boys go to Boy Scouts, they take their Boy Scout Handbook.
When my kids take their piano lessons, they take their music books.
When my kids need to learn their math, they use their math books.

Why, oh why, when they go to church to learn about God, do they NOT need to take their BIBLE!?!?!??!

I think I know the answer I will get when I raise this issue with the church staff.

I think they will say they need to be "sensitive" to the seeker/newcomer and not make them feel uncomfortable.

I have a problem with this.  Did Jesus soften his message to the seeker/newcomer so as not to make them feel uncomfortable?  No.  He said things like:

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ²⁵ For whoever wants to save their life^[f] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. " Matthew 16: 24-25

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Matthew 19:21

 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. "  Luke 14:26

I am afraid that the church has become so "seeker sensitive" that we are raising a generation of Christians on spiritual milk and not solid spiritual food.

Why doesn't the church set the standard for being a Christian and teach us how to live up to it, rather than lowering the bar so anyone can get in, but no one ever grows up in Christ?

I want to eat spiritual meat and I want my kids to eat spiritual meat too.

Hebrews 5: 11-14  Warning Against Falling Away

 ¹¹ We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. ¹² In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! ¹³ Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. ¹⁴ But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. 

Our Story

Our church is doing a series on Changed Lives. As a part of this, they asked members of the church who would like to share how God has changed their life to share their story. I was blessed to be able to share our story. You can watch it here Changed

Decisions - Part 2

Thanks for the comments and suggestions on my Decisions post.  They are appreciated! 

We are considering the possibility of adding on to our home.  However, the builder who came over today said that due to setbacks, we would have to go up - rather than out - to expand our house.  With the current cost of materials, he said we were looking at around $50k.  When CP explained why we were considering this, he said that with home prices where they are, we would be better off to move.

Location considerations - Our metropolitan area has less than 2.5% Asians, but our particular neighborhood is quite multi-cultural.  I do think about this when trying to decide where to move.  Also, a number of other things are influencing our choice:

• Distance to Chinese Bible Study
• Distance to Chinese School
• Homeschool classes
• Distance to our Dr.
• Distance to our Chiropractor
• Distance to our church

I have been praying about whether we should stay close to where we are or move to the less expensive area.  Yesterday, I got two confirmations from God that we should stay close to where we are.

1)  We had signed JA up for Classical Conversations in the fall.  The location is close enough to our home that he can ride his bike there.  This will take the burden off of CP of having to drive him there and pick him up each week.  However, there was a chance that they were going to cancel it because they didn't have the minimum number of students.  I found out yesterday that they reached the minimum number yesterday!

2) One home (in our neighborhood!) that is at the top of our list dropped $50K in price yesterday!!!! I was stunned - especially since it has only been on the market less than 30 days. It is now within range of what we were hoping to spend. 

3)  We also found out that another home in our neighborhood that we are interested in should be hitting the market very soon.  It is a foreclosure and we know what the bank was owed for the home, so we have a good idea of what we can offer for it.  It is also in our range.  We just need to figure out if we can get inside to see if the layout will work for us. 

So, we are still praying and waiting.  We don't want to fall into the trap of the "American Dream" of bigger is better.  But we are also being realistic as to what a family of 9 needs.  I do know this - God will show us the way - if we are willing to listen.

Decisions

Ever since we decided to bring GW home, we have wondered if we really have room long term for all of us in our home.  We are a modern day Brady Bunch - Mom, Dad, 4 boys, 2 girls and Grandpa!  We live in a 4 bedroom 3 bath home with a 2 car garage.  The 4 boys have the master suite; the 3 adults share a bathroom and the girls have their own bathroom.  Even by American standards, we have a large home - 2300 sf. 

But....

In just a few short years (5.5 to be exact), we will have SIX teenagers in our house!  And who knows how many cars we will have.

We have been thinking lately with interest rates where they are that now might be a good time to buy.  (Though it might not be a good time to sell)

Our problem is - we can't decide
1) Where we want to live.  This is a big decision as it can swing the price significantly.  We can afford to spend more on a home (thanks to CP's inheritance from his mom), but do we NEED to spend more?  Should we save that money for other things in the future?

2) What we really want in a house.  We need 5 bedrooms, but we could take a 4 bedroom house as long as there is a room that Grandpa can use for a bedroom.  We don't know for sure if we want a pool (we could always add one).  They make for cheap entertainment for the kids. 

3)How big of a house we need.  Can we get by with just a slightly larger home but with a 5th bedroom?  Or should we make the move worth the effort and go for something big enough to include a nice room for homeschool and room for a ping-pong table?

Of course, the boys just had a huge upheaval in their lives, so the thought of moving them again so soon is a concern.  We have considered a few homes in our neighborhood which should minimize the impact, but this means a more expensive home. 

And given this whole idea of living radically, all this talk of "need" just doesn't sit right with me.  Should we just stay where we are?  My dad grew up in a house smaller than this and there were 8 siblings and his granddad lived with them too. 

I have been praying about this, but right now, I just don't have the answers...

Confirmation

WOW!  When our son returned from the special event at church this weekend, I couldn't have asked for more confirmation that the whole episode on Thursday was a Spiritual Battle.  While at the event, he chose to spend his own money and buy a T-shirt.  The scripture reference on the shirt was Ephesians 6:12.

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

I cried when he told me what the verse was because it was clear confirmation of what God had showed me Friday morning.

Unconditional Response

Last night at Bible Study,  we were discussing Mark 12:28 - 34.  One thing our leader said really struck me.  He said,

" This love for God is our unconditional response to God's unconditional love for us"

We often hear preachers talk about God's love for us, but I don't often hear them talk about our ongoing, daily, response to God.  This is a T-O-U-G-H love to carry out on a daily basis.  And the thing that I think truly struck me about his statement is that it is an UNCONDITIONAL response.  This command from God does not carry a promise with it.  He does not say that if you love me I will make your life easy (i.e. prosperity Gospel).  He does not say that if you love me I will grant your desires.  He does not say that if you love me I will take you out of the tough places. 

He just says - "Love me."

He does promise to walk with us through the tough places - just as he was with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace.  He does promise us a place to live in heaven.  He does promise to reward us in heaven for our dedication to Him here on Earth. 

But, too many times, when life gets tough, we have a tendency to blame God and walk away from him.  I have even heard story after story of Christians being told by other Christians that they must not be doing something right, or that there must be sin in their life, or that they haven't prayed enough or that the path they have chosen must not have been God's plan, just because they are walking through a valley.  What a shame!  The very people that should be lifting us up are the ones that cause us to doubt God and his love for us.   I believe this is a result of the easy Gospel that we in America have been taught for the last 50 years.  Have they not read the story of Job, or Paul in jail, or John who was exiled to the island of Patmos, or Joseph who was sold into slavery and served time in jail?  Were these men in the Bible outside of God's plan?  I don't think so. 

I know it is hard to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."  But it is a commandment.  I need to strive to obey this commandment - regardless of my circumstances. 

Right now, things are going very well at our house, but I know the tough times ARE coming.  I just pray that I can remember to Love God just as much even then. 



Obedience

During The 24 Days of Giving, we got a lot of e-mails/comments, etc thanking us for the wonderful thing we were doing.  I didn't think it was a wonderful thing; I just thought we were being obedient to God's commands. 

Deuteronomy 14:22,28,29 says


22 Be sure to set aside a tenth of all that your fields produce each year.  28 At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year’s produce and store it in your towns, 29 so that the Levites (who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the foreigners, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.  (bolding mine)

Some may say that this is an Old Testament command and doesn't apply today.  Yet I would point them to Matthew 25:34 where it says

³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

and Matthew 26:9 where one of Jesus' disciples says
⁹ “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.”

From what I can tell, the tithe as originally designed was intended to be collected by the church and distributed to the poor and needy in the community.  The poor and needy are those that are hungry, thirsty, need a place to stay, need clothes, are sick or are in prison.  I would say that orphans qualify as "poor and needy" on a number of those grounds. 

We have for years given to our local church.  However, as I have learned and grown in my Radical approach to Christianity this year, God has opened my eyes.  God does not require us to give to the local church.  God requires us to take care of the poor and needy.  If your local church is doing that - GREAT!  They might be the best method of distributing the money.  If they aren't, well, then you might want to look at tithing somewhere else.  This is where God has led us this year.  Our local church doesn't do much to reach out to the poor and needy in our local community or elsewhere.  We talked with the leaders at our church about this and didn't get a great response.  As a result, we decided to send our tithe elsewhere - where it WILL help the poor and needy.  So, that is where the funds for The 24 Days of Giving came from.  It wasn't a "sacrifice" at all on our part - we're still working on that part.

I write this for two reasons - one, to deflect any "praise" or "glory" that some might be tempted to heap on us - we DO NOT deserve it.  Two, to challenge my blog readers to evaluate where your tithes are being spent. (assuming you are tithing at all - that's another post)  Are your tithes being used to help the poor and needy?  Or are they being used to build bigger buildings, hire more staff, and create more programs? 

You might just want to send some of your money to someone who is fundraising for an adoption so you can be sure that it is being used for the poor and needy.  Or maybe sponsor a child through Show Hope, Compassion International, An Orphan's Wish or any other organization reaching out to orphans.  Just pray and ask God to show you where your tithe needs to be going.