Sorry that I have been MIA for so long. Life has been quite challenging for us for a while now. I haven't wanted to blog about the issues because they affect so many people in our home.
Our family is on a journey. We thought this journey began three years ago, but it turns out that part of our course over the last three years was strongly influenced many, many years ago. It just happens that the events of three years ago placed a magnifying glass on some issues that had previously been hidden.
I have spent the last six to nine months reading a lot. Unfortunately, the majority of it has not been for pleasure (though I have discovered Ted Dekker books and have become a fanatic). Most of the reading I have been doing is non-fiction related to a wide range of medical/psychological issues.
What I am learning is that our childhood has a strong influence on us even into our adult lives. While this isn't a big surprise, the way in which it influences us and the extent to which it influences us is quite intriguing. In addition, I am learning a lot about some genetic conditions and heredity.
I am also realizing that if I don't take care of me, no one else will do it for me. I need to take care of myself first, and then I can help those who depend on me. Just like they tell you on the airplane if the oxygen masks deploy. I need to put my oxygen mask on because right now, I am oxygen deprived and I'm not functioning well.
I don't know how much or how little I will be blogging. Just keep us in your prayers as we walk down this road that God has set before us.
The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. Matthew 13:44-46
Monday, March 03, 2014
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Unconditional Love
God is teaching me A LOT about unconditional love these days. When you have a child that is choosing to not act as your child, you learn a lot about loving someone who isn't loving you back. Note, I didn't say "adopted child", because as I have found out from some friends, there are biological kids who act this way as well.
One thing I have discovered is that expectations play a lot in my "satisfaction" with this relationship. When I expect this child to reciprocate love, I quickly feel unfulfilled. However, this isn't true unconditional love. Unconditional love expects N-O-T-H-I-N-G in return - and that's hard.
It's hard to pour your life, your love and your soul into someone and get nothing in return.
One of the books I am reading about these issues compares the parent/child interaction to the spousal relationship. While this comparison isn't valid across the board, in the particular way he makes it, it is valid. One thing I have realized by thinking about the parent/child relationship in this manner is this: I cannot MAKE my child love me - it is HIS choice. And he may NEVER choose to love me. That is a hard realization. But, if I don't accept this reality, my relationship with him may always be rocky.
A friend posted a link to this series on her FB page and I started listening it to it today. It is CHALLENGING to watch this, as it reveals God's high standard for us. I realize how short I fall of His standard and know that I need to work on this with his help.
Here is the link to the entire series:http://www.gethope.net/love-different
One thing I have discovered is that expectations play a lot in my "satisfaction" with this relationship. When I expect this child to reciprocate love, I quickly feel unfulfilled. However, this isn't true unconditional love. Unconditional love expects N-O-T-H-I-N-G in return - and that's hard.
It's hard to pour your life, your love and your soul into someone and get nothing in return.
One of the books I am reading about these issues compares the parent/child interaction to the spousal relationship. While this comparison isn't valid across the board, in the particular way he makes it, it is valid. One thing I have realized by thinking about the parent/child relationship in this manner is this: I cannot MAKE my child love me - it is HIS choice. And he may NEVER choose to love me. That is a hard realization. But, if I don't accept this reality, my relationship with him may always be rocky.
A friend posted a link to this series on her FB page and I started listening it to it today. It is CHALLENGING to watch this, as it reveals God's high standard for us. I realize how short I fall of His standard and know that I need to work on this with his help.
Here is the link to the entire series:http://www.gethope.net/love-different
Thursday, October 03, 2013
Gabor Mate Lecture - "Hold On To Your Kids"
This video is by one of the authors of the book which I highly recommend to anyone adopting an older child. If you don't have the time to read the book, take the time to listen to this lecture. It will be well worth it.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Induction
15 yrs ago today CP and I made our way to the hospital to await our induction into the exclusive club called Parenthood. Approximately 4:30 that afternoon, a very special young man arrived to bestow upon us the names Mom and Dad. It has been one of the best clubs we have ever joined. It is filled with highs and lows but I wouldn't trade my membership in this club for anything in the world! Happy Birthday, JA!
Sunday, September 15, 2013
My Sister
Back in July, SG made a very important decision. Unfortunately, due to a number of circumstances, she wasn't able to follow through on it until the middle of August. However, on August 17, 2013, SG let the public know that she is my Sister-in-Christ.
Thursday, September 05, 2013
Campfire
"It was a good night for a campfire."
CP said that to me at around 3:00 am this morning.
But I need to back up some...
Last night, CP and our struggling child went to the RV to spend the night. They have been doing this for a while to help with bonding/attachment.
When they arrived they discovered that the refrigerator wasn't working, so they set about to getting it started again. Our child went to bed and CP sat up until midnight reading.
Around 1am, God awakened CP to the smell of smoke. As he opened his eyes, he noticed an odd glow. He got up and discovered the glow was coming from the refrigerator. He quickly woke up our child and got him out of the RV. CP then grabbed his wallet and keys and got out. In that short period of time, the glow had turned into flames.
God is good!
CP said that to me at around 3:00 am this morning.
But I need to back up some...
Last night, CP and our struggling child went to the RV to spend the night. They have been doing this for a while to help with bonding/attachment.
When they arrived they discovered that the refrigerator wasn't working, so they set about to getting it started again. Our child went to bed and CP sat up until midnight reading.
Around 1am, God awakened CP to the smell of smoke. As he opened his eyes, he noticed an odd glow. He got up and discovered the glow was coming from the refrigerator. He quickly woke up our child and got him out of the RV. CP then grabbed his wallet and keys and got out. In that short period of time, the glow had turned into flames.
God is good!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
First Shave
Recently, BG got a job with our local grocery chain. We are so proud of him for this great accomplishment. At one of his orientation meetings, they explained that he needed to s-h-a-v-e his moustache. (Moustache!?!?!?) So, CP set about to teach BG how to shave...
That's one HANDSOME young man, if I do say so myself!
Friday, August 16, 2013
Changes
During our lifetime we are faced with many changes. Two changes have hit our household in the schooling department recently.
First, one of our children is now enrolled in the local public school.
I know, I swore I would never re-enroll my kids in public school (especially middle school).
God laughed at me!
We had started looking into schooling options for this child about a month ago. We first started with a small private school with which we were familiar, but it didn't work out. We then looked at a number of other bigger private schools, but every where we turned, it seemed we were getting negative feedback. It took a misunderstanding on my part for God to get me past my stubbornness on the public school issue. I talked to a mom whose son had struggled at the school and her comments stunned me - they were all positive. When we finally made the decision, I finally felt at peace.
Second, one of our children is now working on a more relaxed homeschooling approach. This child has big dreams and in my zeal for supporting him, I ended up overwhelming him. Rather than letting him lead and walking beside him, I took his hand and started running - dragging him along with me. I asked for his forgiveness two days ago and handed him the reigns of his schoolwork. It is now up to him to figure things out with me by his side. I have set goals (both long term and short term) for him, but it is his responsibility to figure it out.
Boy, this parenting/homeschooling thing is H-A-R-D. But we will get through it - one day at a time.
First, one of our children is now enrolled in the local public school.
I know, I swore I would never re-enroll my kids in public school (especially middle school).
God laughed at me!
We had started looking into schooling options for this child about a month ago. We first started with a small private school with which we were familiar, but it didn't work out. We then looked at a number of other bigger private schools, but every where we turned, it seemed we were getting negative feedback. It took a misunderstanding on my part for God to get me past my stubbornness on the public school issue. I talked to a mom whose son had struggled at the school and her comments stunned me - they were all positive. When we finally made the decision, I finally felt at peace.
Second, one of our children is now working on a more relaxed homeschooling approach. This child has big dreams and in my zeal for supporting him, I ended up overwhelming him. Rather than letting him lead and walking beside him, I took his hand and started running - dragging him along with me. I asked for his forgiveness two days ago and handed him the reigns of his schoolwork. It is now up to him to figure things out with me by his side. I have set goals (both long term and short term) for him, but it is his responsibility to figure it out.
Boy, this parenting/homeschooling thing is H-A-R-D. But we will get through it - one day at a time.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Rules
When kids transition into adolescence, they begin to stretch their wings and want more independence. This is normal and natural. However, they must show responsibility that matches the level of desired independence. Unfortunately, our older internationally adopted kids are many times more used to having independence without any responsibility. As a result, when we try to limit independence and/or couple it with responsibility, they have a hard time with it.
Many of our older kids had few rules to live by in the orphanage. Generally, it was go to school and be back in time for bed. Of course, bed-time was typically later than many American parents might institute based on age. They had freedom to do pretty much anything they wanted in between. This consisted of going anywhere they wanted, watching anything they wanted (on TV or the computer or elsewhere), reading anything they wanted, eating anything they wanted, doing anything they wanted (on the computer or elsewhere). Once they are in a loving family here, they want the same freedoms. However, many times they don't get what they want because the parents realize that level of freedom is not safe or appropriate for them. This can makes things quite difficult.
In addition, because our kids don't always have the reasoning skills, they don't understand that these rules are in place for a reason - to protect them. In fact, they may feel they don't need protection because they fended for themselves just fine in China (they think). It is a hard line to draw, but it must be drawn.
They have to understand that if they choose to break the rules, they choose to accept the consequences. If they don't learn this from their parents, they will learn it from the police/justice system later in life.
Many of our older kids had few rules to live by in the orphanage. Generally, it was go to school and be back in time for bed. Of course, bed-time was typically later than many American parents might institute based on age. They had freedom to do pretty much anything they wanted in between. This consisted of going anywhere they wanted, watching anything they wanted (on TV or the computer or elsewhere), reading anything they wanted, eating anything they wanted, doing anything they wanted (on the computer or elsewhere). Once they are in a loving family here, they want the same freedoms. However, many times they don't get what they want because the parents realize that level of freedom is not safe or appropriate for them. This can makes things quite difficult.
In addition, because our kids don't always have the reasoning skills, they don't understand that these rules are in place for a reason - to protect them. In fact, they may feel they don't need protection because they fended for themselves just fine in China (they think). It is a hard line to draw, but it must be drawn.
They have to understand that if they choose to break the rules, they choose to accept the consequences. If they don't learn this from their parents, they will learn it from the police/justice system later in life.
Tuesday, August 06, 2013
Grief
Back in college, I took a religion class on death and dying. It was a very interesting class and as a part of the class, we read Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' book On Death and Dying. In the book, she describes the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
Her work was done mainly with terminal patients (she was an MD), but the stages apply to anyone dealing with grief - including adopted children who grieve the loss of so many things in their lives.
Grief is a VERY hard thing to go through, and it is very hard to watch a loved one go through it. However, it is a necessary and healthy part of dealing with the loss that has occurred.
Part of what makes is even more difficult is if the child gets stuck in the Denial stage for an extended period of time. In this situation, everything looks good on the outside, but inside, the child's emotions are eating away at them. Unfortunately, it isn't until the child finally transitions to the second stage, Anger, that this becomes apparent - and when it does, it can be explosive. Fortunately, so far, the explosion has been positive - emotions and feelings finally being let out so they can be dealt with and addressed.
But it is still hard.
In addition, we have begun to realize that this isn't just an emotional battle, but also a spiritual one.
Please pray for our entire family as we walk down this road together. It is a difficult road, but we will come out stronger on the other side.
Her work was done mainly with terminal patients (she was an MD), but the stages apply to anyone dealing with grief - including adopted children who grieve the loss of so many things in their lives.
Grief is a VERY hard thing to go through, and it is very hard to watch a loved one go through it. However, it is a necessary and healthy part of dealing with the loss that has occurred.
Part of what makes is even more difficult is if the child gets stuck in the Denial stage for an extended period of time. In this situation, everything looks good on the outside, but inside, the child's emotions are eating away at them. Unfortunately, it isn't until the child finally transitions to the second stage, Anger, that this becomes apparent - and when it does, it can be explosive. Fortunately, so far, the explosion has been positive - emotions and feelings finally being let out so they can be dealt with and addressed.
But it is still hard.
In addition, we have begun to realize that this isn't just an emotional battle, but also a spiritual one.
Please pray for our entire family as we walk down this road together. It is a difficult road, but we will come out stronger on the other side.
Thursday, August 01, 2013
Hard
International adoption is hard.
International adoption of an older child is even harder.
When you know little to nothing about your child's past, it is difficult to know how best to help them adjust and cope with all the changes in their life.
Many in the international adoption community adopt children with medical needs. It is much easier for them to be open about the challenges they are facing with their child and get the help and support they need.
Many in the international adoption community adopt children with invisible needs. It is much more difficult for them to be open about the challenges they are facing with their child and get the help and support they need.
It is fine line to walk - balancing the need to share in order to get the needed support with the need to maintain privacy for their child - especially when they are older.
We are fortunate that we have found a small online community of adoptive parents of kids who are dealing with many of these invisible needs. We are EXTREMELY fortunate that we attend church with a family that has walked down the very road that we are now traversing.
We are dealing with some really big issues with one of our kiddos right now. They are impacting our entire family. For now, please just keep us in your prayers. That is the best thing you can do. This is as much of a spiritual battle as it is a physical/emotional/mental battle.
International adoption of an older child is even harder.
When you know little to nothing about your child's past, it is difficult to know how best to help them adjust and cope with all the changes in their life.
Many in the international adoption community adopt children with medical needs. It is much easier for them to be open about the challenges they are facing with their child and get the help and support they need.
Many in the international adoption community adopt children with invisible needs. It is much more difficult for them to be open about the challenges they are facing with their child and get the help and support they need.
It is fine line to walk - balancing the need to share in order to get the needed support with the need to maintain privacy for their child - especially when they are older.
We are fortunate that we have found a small online community of adoptive parents of kids who are dealing with many of these invisible needs. We are EXTREMELY fortunate that we attend church with a family that has walked down the very road that we are now traversing.
We are dealing with some really big issues with one of our kiddos right now. They are impacting our entire family. For now, please just keep us in your prayers. That is the best thing you can do. This is as much of a spiritual battle as it is a physical/emotional/mental battle.
Ephesians 6:12
New International Version (NIV)
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
A Tale of Two Sons
It was the worst day of my life; it was the best day of my life.
Both events left me in tears - one was tears of sadness; the other tears of joy.
While I won't share the details regarding the worst part of this day, suffice it to say that one of our sons was quite a challenge to us and left us with no choice but to do something that was in his best interest, but still very difficult to do.
Regarding the best day of my life, another of my sons gave me the best birthday present ever. This is what my oldest son posted to my Facebook wall today.
Both events left me in tears - one was tears of sadness; the other tears of joy.
While I won't share the details regarding the worst part of this day, suffice it to say that one of our sons was quite a challenge to us and left us with no choice but to do something that was in his best interest, but still very difficult to do.
Regarding the best day of my life, another of my sons gave me the best birthday present ever. This is what my oldest son posted to my Facebook wall today.
Monday, July 01, 2013
Hiatus
n.: A gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break
Sorry for the long delay in posting. Life with six kids keeps us hopping, and I don't have much time for blogging. I do have some time during lunch at work (like now), but I don't have pictures available. So, you'll just have to live with text.
Since my last post, here is what we've done:
Finished school for the year - of course, this is somewhat of a misnomer since we school year round. However, we are taking a four week break rather than our usual two this time (more on that later).
BJ, JA, AT, and TJ all started their summer basketball league. Practices on Wed and Thursday nights and games on Saturday and Sunday!
JA and AT went to their Boy Scout Camp. They both worked on some Eagle required merit badges and both were able to earn their Star rank the Monday that they returned.
BJ, JA, AT, and TJ have all started Summer Youth Band. BJ and JA are playing trombone, AT is playing trumpet and TJ is playing clarinet. This lasts 4 weeks (hence our longer than usual break) with a concert at the end.
SG and HJ both earned 3 merit badges for their American Heritage Girls (though for the life of me, I can't remember which ones!). SG is also working on her Swimming Merit Badge this summer.
TJ went away for a week at camp with church. He was gone from Monday morning until Friday afternoon. I haven't gotten a full debrief from him yet, but he had an AWESOME time. They totally wore him out (about 4 hrs of sleep each night) so he was moving really slow on Friday night and Saturday. He found his energy in time for his basketball game on Sunday though.
JA will be swimming with our local high school this upcoming year and they have started their conditioning program which is 3 days a week. CP drops him off at the school and I pick him up on the way home from work.
JA also started volunteering at our local hospital. He is really liking this so far and will continue this for the foreseeable future.
BJ, JA and AT carried flags in our church's Freedom Celebration on Sunday. I cried when I saw BJ walking across the front of the church carrying the American flag. AT also played piano with the youth band during the service.
SG, HJ and I met our good friends at the airport when they came home with their newest daughter. She is a hoot and I can't wait to spend more time with her.
So, as you can see, I don't have much time to get on the computer to do anything. And if I do, its usually to do something for someone else in the family. My computer time is mainly on the iPad in the morning between 6am and 7am when I am awake, but not coherent enough to do more than read through some e-mails.
Hopefully, I'll be able to keep up a little better from now on.
Sorry for the long delay in posting. Life with six kids keeps us hopping, and I don't have much time for blogging. I do have some time during lunch at work (like now), but I don't have pictures available. So, you'll just have to live with text.
Since my last post, here is what we've done:
Finished school for the year - of course, this is somewhat of a misnomer since we school year round. However, we are taking a four week break rather than our usual two this time (more on that later).
BJ, JA, AT, and TJ all started their summer basketball league. Practices on Wed and Thursday nights and games on Saturday and Sunday!
JA and AT went to their Boy Scout Camp. They both worked on some Eagle required merit badges and both were able to earn their Star rank the Monday that they returned.
BJ, JA, AT, and TJ have all started Summer Youth Band. BJ and JA are playing trombone, AT is playing trumpet and TJ is playing clarinet. This lasts 4 weeks (hence our longer than usual break) with a concert at the end.
SG and HJ both earned 3 merit badges for their American Heritage Girls (though for the life of me, I can't remember which ones!). SG is also working on her Swimming Merit Badge this summer.
TJ went away for a week at camp with church. He was gone from Monday morning until Friday afternoon. I haven't gotten a full debrief from him yet, but he had an AWESOME time. They totally wore him out (about 4 hrs of sleep each night) so he was moving really slow on Friday night and Saturday. He found his energy in time for his basketball game on Sunday though.
JA will be swimming with our local high school this upcoming year and they have started their conditioning program which is 3 days a week. CP drops him off at the school and I pick him up on the way home from work.
JA also started volunteering at our local hospital. He is really liking this so far and will continue this for the foreseeable future.
BJ, JA and AT carried flags in our church's Freedom Celebration on Sunday. I cried when I saw BJ walking across the front of the church carrying the American flag. AT also played piano with the youth band during the service.
SG, HJ and I met our good friends at the airport when they came home with their newest daughter. She is a hoot and I can't wait to spend more time with her.
So, as you can see, I don't have much time to get on the computer to do anything. And if I do, its usually to do something for someone else in the family. My computer time is mainly on the iPad in the morning between 6am and 7am when I am awake, but not coherent enough to do more than read through some e-mails.
Hopefully, I'll be able to keep up a little better from now on.
Tuesday, June 04, 2013
Integrated History
While I was very happy with our plan for US History, I began to think about something I wish I had a better grasp on. I know my US History and I know some World History, but I don't know how all the pieces fit together. So, I have decided to create a two-year integrated History course for JA and BG.
Here is the plan: (in addition to the books/videos described for US History here )
Eyewitness to History as our World History Spine ~10 pgs/wk
Eyewitness to America as our US History Spine ~10 pgs/wk
131 Christians Everyone Should Know another Spine
China: It's History and Culture another Spine
The two Eyewitness books are arranged Chronologically, so I lined them up and figured out how many pages per week to finish in 72 weeks. The 131 Christians books is NOT arranged Chronologically, so JA and BG will have to figure out what to read when based on the time frame for each 6 weeks session. The China book is also Chronological, but doesn't lend itself to an easy X pgs/wk so they'll just have to read the appropriate section at the appropriate time. Each 6 weeks breaks down like this:
Creation - 1432 (I know, I wish now I had given more time to BC, but it is what it is)
1432 - 1597
1597 - 1741
1741- 1802
1802 - 1846
1846 - 1864
1864 - 1898
1898-1919
1919 - 1940
1940 - 1945
1945 - 1964
1964 - 1992
In addition to these books, they will be using the following internet resources, books and videos at the appropriate times. They will also be doing a timeline and Google Earth project mapping the event locations. In addition, JA will be writing two major papers (one for US History, one for World History) during the course of the two years. This will be so I can give him Honors Credit.
Internet resources
History: Mankind - The Story of Us All This will be done at the beginning as an overview with the associated study guides
Drive Through History with the associated study guides
Stanford Read Like a Historian and the associated study guides
Books:
Selected GA Henty books
Selected YWAM Christian Heros Then and Now
A Tale of Two Cities
My African Journey by Churchill
The Good Earth
Night by Elie Wiesel
Videos: (we won't watch all of these, but will pick and choose to fill in gaps)
(Yes, I know some of these are rated R - I will make a final decision after watching the movie myself)
Schindler's List
Saving Private Ryan
Amistad
Amazing Grace
The True Story of Braveheart
Ghandi
The Ten Commandments
Troy
Jesus of Nazereth
Ben-Hur
Masada
Ivanhoe
Marco Polo
The Canterbury Tales
Joan of Arc
Mongol
Christopher Columbus
War and Peace
Julius Ceasar's Rome
The True Story of the Bridge on the River Kwai
Tibet's Lost Paradise-Shangri-La
Pompeii - Buried Alive
The Warlords
Shaolin
Three Kingdoms
Inside the Forbidden City
The French Revolution
Digging for the Truth
Real Pirates of the Caribbean
The History of Ancient Rome
The Conquerors
Ancients Behaving Badly
55 Days at Peking
China Revealed
China and the Chinese
Here is the plan: (in addition to the books/videos described for US History here )
Eyewitness to History as our World History Spine ~10 pgs/wk
Eyewitness to America as our US History Spine ~10 pgs/wk
131 Christians Everyone Should Know another Spine
China: It's History and Culture another Spine
The two Eyewitness books are arranged Chronologically, so I lined them up and figured out how many pages per week to finish in 72 weeks. The 131 Christians books is NOT arranged Chronologically, so JA and BG will have to figure out what to read when based on the time frame for each 6 weeks session. The China book is also Chronological, but doesn't lend itself to an easy X pgs/wk so they'll just have to read the appropriate section at the appropriate time. Each 6 weeks breaks down like this:
Creation - 1432 (I know, I wish now I had given more time to BC, but it is what it is)
1432 - 1597
1597 - 1741
1741- 1802
1802 - 1846
1846 - 1864
1864 - 1898
1898-1919
1919 - 1940
1940 - 1945
1945 - 1964
1964 - 1992
In addition to these books, they will be using the following internet resources, books and videos at the appropriate times. They will also be doing a timeline and Google Earth project mapping the event locations. In addition, JA will be writing two major papers (one for US History, one for World History) during the course of the two years. This will be so I can give him Honors Credit.
Internet resources
History: Mankind - The Story of Us All This will be done at the beginning as an overview with the associated study guides
Drive Through History with the associated study guides
Stanford Read Like a Historian and the associated study guides
Books:
Selected GA Henty books
Selected YWAM Christian Heros Then and Now
A Tale of Two Cities
My African Journey by Churchill
The Good Earth
Night by Elie Wiesel
Videos: (we won't watch all of these, but will pick and choose to fill in gaps)
(Yes, I know some of these are rated R - I will make a final decision after watching the movie myself)
Schindler's List
Saving Private Ryan
Amistad
Amazing Grace
The True Story of Braveheart
Ghandi
The Ten Commandments
Troy
Jesus of Nazereth
Ben-Hur
Masada
Ivanhoe
Marco Polo
The Canterbury Tales
Joan of Arc
Mongol
Christopher Columbus
War and Peace
Julius Ceasar's Rome
The True Story of the Bridge on the River Kwai
Tibet's Lost Paradise-Shangri-La
Pompeii - Buried Alive
The Warlords
Shaolin
Three Kingdoms
Inside the Forbidden City
The French Revolution
Digging for the Truth
Real Pirates of the Caribbean
The History of Ancient Rome
The Conquerors
Ancients Behaving Badly
55 Days at Peking
China Revealed
China and the Chinese
Sunday, May 05, 2013
10,000 Reasons
AT was asked to play the prelude at church this morning. Here he is playing Matt Redmond's 10,000 Reasons. You'll have to forgive the rotation in the middle; there was a misunderstanding on the camera operators part about how video cameras are different than still photo cameras.
Saturday, May 04, 2013
College - Part 3 - Updated!
I have updated this (and posted today) with links and more info that a friend pointed out that I forgot to include...
Wow! What a ride it has been. Trying to sort out all I need to do for JA to ensure that he is well prepared to tackle college as a pre-med student has been very time-consuming. But he's worth it!
Here is what we have finally settled on:
He has finished 9th grade! This was a surprising discovery while working through all of this. Our local high school has 7 periods a day for 7 credits each year. That equates to 21 credits in 3 years and in reality, he only needs about 24 credits to "graduate" I realized that since he is finishing up Algebra 1 that this counts as a high school credit. I also realized that I can give him high school credit for English since his writing skills are already high school level (verified by our next door neighbor who teaches English at the local high school). So I really only needed to "find" one more credit for him. And then I realized that his work on obtaining his Star Scout rank in Boy Scouts could count as an elective. Voila! He's now a rising 10th grader.
So, here are our plans for 10th grade
Wow! What a ride it has been. Trying to sort out all I need to do for JA to ensure that he is well prepared to tackle college as a pre-med student has been very time-consuming. But he's worth it!
Here is what we have finally settled on:
He has finished 9th grade! This was a surprising discovery while working through all of this. Our local high school has 7 periods a day for 7 credits each year. That equates to 21 credits in 3 years and in reality, he only needs about 24 credits to "graduate" I realized that since he is finishing up Algebra 1 that this counts as a high school credit. I also realized that I can give him high school credit for English since his writing skills are already high school level (verified by our next door neighbor who teaches English at the local high school). So I really only needed to "find" one more credit for him. And then I realized that his work on obtaining his Star Scout rank in Boy Scouts could count as an elective. Voila! He's now a rising 10th grader.
So, here are our plans for 10th grade
Science:
We have used the Robinson Curriculum (RC) for the last few years and I really like it, but it didn't have a strong biology component. So I went on a search for a solid Biology curriculum. My plans to let him do a killer science project went by the wayside when I realized that I needed to guarantee (as much as possible) that he'll be able to get through the freshman pre-med weed-out class of Biology in college without much struggle. I also got more scared when another homeschooling friend told me that her daughter (a Biology major) got a C in her freshman biology class at a nearby private university. When I found out that they used Apologia, I started looking for a tougher curriculum. What I finally settled on is BJU with the DIVE videos. We'll be following the Honors track for this.English
I started with RC as my base reading list and planned to continue to use Jensen's Format Writing . I was going to have him use the free study guides to the various books I found on the internet to make sure he was really grasping the content/meaning of the books. However, I began to wonder "how much was enough" to be able to give him Honors credit. In my searching on the internet for an answer, I came across the Excellence in Literature curriculum. After looking over the books for the course and her sample unit I realized she had already put together what I was attempting to do. So, since she has a 5 yr course and I could download it and re-use it over and over (for at least 4 kids!), I decided to buy that. He'll be following the Honors track for this as well.US History
I realized that RC seemed weak once you got past the Civil War. So I began looking for extra books. I ended up settling on the following:- Eyewitness to America will be our "spine"
Foreign Language:
He will be taking Chinese 1 through Florida Virtual SchoolChristian Living (Elective)
For this, I am having him focus on himself for 10th grade. The plan is to have him also do this elective in 11th grade with a focus on Jesus and in 12th grade with a focus on others. So, the plan is to have him read the following books: The Mark of a Man by Elisabeth Elliot, Do Hard Things by Joshua and Alex Harris, Boyhood and Beyond by Bob Schultz, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, Created for Work by Bob Schultz and Boundaries in Dating by Drs Cloud and Townsend.
To round things out, he will be participating in a Summer Youth Band (1/4 credit) which he will do for 4 summers for a total of 1 Fine Arts credit, Swimming on the local High School swim team, working on his earning his Life Scout rank in Boy Scouts (1 credit in Leadership) and volunteering at the local hospital.
For my next post, I'll post about our plans for BG for 10th grade.
For my next post, I'll post about our plans for BG for 10th grade.
Friday, May 03, 2013
High School for an older international Adoptee
BG will be entering 10th grade this upcoming school year after having only been in the US for 2.5 yrs. For the upcoming year, BG will continue doing most of what he was doing last year (post here and here ) with some tweaks.
His math will be Saxon Algebra 2 and he will continue his reading with Grandpa. However, I am going to replace his random video watching with a more structured approach.
For science, he will be watching the DIVE Biology video with JA and then watching supplemental Biology videos from Khan Academy, Netflix, Education Portal, LearnersTV.com and iTunesU.
For History, he will be watching the supplemental videos that JA will be watching and listening to the books that JA will be reading.
For English, I will have his also listen to the books that JA is reading so that they can discuss the books together.
I will continue to have him write about the videos/books and I will help him with correcting his grammar. I have also toyed with getting him a more structured grammar book, but haven't made a firm decision yet.
In addition, I want him to choose 2 electives from a variety of video sources to round out his day. We are also trying to get him a job at our local supermarket. If that happens, then I'll back off of the electives. And of course, he'll continue to play basketball for our local Christian school.
Hopefully, this will keep him busy during the day while pumping lots of information into his head!
His math will be Saxon Algebra 2 and he will continue his reading with Grandpa. However, I am going to replace his random video watching with a more structured approach.
For science, he will be watching the DIVE Biology video with JA and then watching supplemental Biology videos from Khan Academy, Netflix, Education Portal, LearnersTV.com and iTunesU.
For History, he will be watching the supplemental videos that JA will be watching and listening to the books that JA will be reading.
For English, I will have his also listen to the books that JA is reading so that they can discuss the books together.
I will continue to have him write about the videos/books and I will help him with correcting his grammar. I have also toyed with getting him a more structured grammar book, but haven't made a firm decision yet.
In addition, I want him to choose 2 electives from a variety of video sources to round out his day. We are also trying to get him a job at our local supermarket. If that happens, then I'll back off of the electives. And of course, he'll continue to play basketball for our local Christian school.
Hopefully, this will keep him busy during the day while pumping lots of information into his head!
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
College - Part 2
The best laid plans....
I had a long chat with another Boy Scout mom last night. She worked at one of our local private schools and was a wealth of information about what colleges are looking for and what they aren't. On top of that, her oldest son just finished his 4 yr degree and applied to Med school.
What she told me is that despite the fact that Med Schools may say that they accept credit for any accredited institution, that in reality, there are so many solid applicants that they choose NOT to accept any students with their pre-requisites at a junior college. :-(
In addition, she explained that even though her son had received a full-tuition scholarship from the Armed Services to attend medical school, he did NOT get accepted at any of the six to which he applied. In addition, she explained that most med schools do NOT like to accept anyone younger than 22. I poked around on a few Med School admissions pages and discovered she is right. They want an "experienced, mature" candidate.
So, I guess I go back to plan A for JA - which was to work through our Eclectic mix of classes and seriously consider early admission. In reality, I like this plan as it leaves our schedules flexible rather than having to conform to the school system. I also like the flexibility of allowing him to pursue his passions rather than learning from a book. For example, my plan for him for Biology next year is for him to do a killer science fair project. He has already picked the topic and I think it is a great one.
As for one comment about really knowing if he'll like being a doctor - We have that one down. We have a very good friend who is a surgeon. JA has been able to shadow him twice already and has watched about six surgeries including laparoscopic and robotic surgeries. He even has held a gall bladder! The hospital where he does this is small, so they don't have a neurosurgeon now, but one is coming in the fall. He is a friend of our friend and we are planning for JA to shadow him some as well. In addition, he hopes to begin volunteering at one of our local hospitals soon.
I had a long chat with another Boy Scout mom last night. She worked at one of our local private schools and was a wealth of information about what colleges are looking for and what they aren't. On top of that, her oldest son just finished his 4 yr degree and applied to Med school.
What she told me is that despite the fact that Med Schools may say that they accept credit for any accredited institution, that in reality, there are so many solid applicants that they choose NOT to accept any students with their pre-requisites at a junior college. :-(
In addition, she explained that even though her son had received a full-tuition scholarship from the Armed Services to attend medical school, he did NOT get accepted at any of the six to which he applied. In addition, she explained that most med schools do NOT like to accept anyone younger than 22. I poked around on a few Med School admissions pages and discovered she is right. They want an "experienced, mature" candidate.
So, I guess I go back to plan A for JA - which was to work through our Eclectic mix of classes and seriously consider early admission. In reality, I like this plan as it leaves our schedules flexible rather than having to conform to the school system. I also like the flexibility of allowing him to pursue his passions rather than learning from a book. For example, my plan for him for Biology next year is for him to do a killer science fair project. He has already picked the topic and I think it is a great one.
As for one comment about really knowing if he'll like being a doctor - We have that one down. We have a very good friend who is a surgeon. JA has been able to shadow him twice already and has watched about six surgeries including laparoscopic and robotic surgeries. He even has held a gall bladder! The hospital where he does this is small, so they don't have a neurosurgeon now, but one is coming in the fall. He is a friend of our friend and we are planning for JA to shadow him some as well. In addition, he hopes to begin volunteering at one of our local hospitals soon.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
College - ALREADY!?!?!??!
Wow! I can't believe I am looking at College (and beyond) for one of my kids. It seems so far off, yet so close. BG is in 9th grade, but since he just came home two years ago, my goal is to prepare him to pass the entrance exam so he can attend our local community college. He is doing fine with his math, it is the reading that we are working on so diligently.
JA will be entering 9th grade in a few weeks (since we school year-round). And what I am discovering is O-V-E-R-W-H-E-L-M-I-N-G!!! In many ways, I am thankful. He is a bright kid with a bright future. I just didn't realize how much planning for his future I would be doing when he was 14.
You see, JA has decided he wants to be a doctor. And not just any kind of doctor, but a surgeon. And not just any kind of surgeon, but a neurosurgeon. And hence, my dilemma.
You see, I have looked into my crystal ball and here is what I see:
4 years of high school
4 years of college
4 years of med school
7 yrs of residency
19 years from now, he will begin practicing as a neurosurgeon (assuming he stays on this path) with T-O-N-S of debt (unless I can help him change the odds)
So, my dilemma is to figure out the best way to help him achieve his goals in the shortest time and at the lowest cost.
I have looked into a variety of ways for JA to complete the next four years. I like the Robinson Curriculum and am convinced that it is sufficient for a college preparatory approach. However, I had been branching out some and taking a more eclectic approach for high school - including ways for him to earn college credit while still in high school.
Many high school students take Advanced Placement (AP) exams to earn college credit. However, the exams are pretty difficult and many schools only grant credit if you earn a 4 or 5 (out of 5). The cost is $89, so it does reduce the costs of college as most are worth 3 college credits.
Another way to earn college credit is taking CLEP exams. These are exams that a student can take after studying material and get college credit for passing the test. A passing score is usually around 50. This is a very inexpensive way to earn college credit as each test is approximately $80 and most get you 3 college credits.
Another way we have of earning college credit is through dual-enrollment at our local community college. The state of Florida (and many other states as well) allows high school students to take courses at the local college. In Florida, this is FREE (except home-schoolers pay for books). The student is allowed to enroll in 10th grade and so has 3 years of high school to earn 2 yrs of college credit.
These are GREAT ways to eliminate two years (or more in some cases) of schooling and reduce the cost of college by anywhere from $8000 (community college cost for 2 yrs) to $40,000 (state university cost for two years). However, I discovered that many Medical Schools do NOT accept CLEP credits for the entrance requirements (i.e. Freshman Biology, Freshman Chemistry, Sophomore Chemistry, Freshman Physics, Freshman English, College Math), so that rules out that option for us. Some med schools do not accept AP credits (and some do), but finding a class would be necessary - and personally, I think these tests are harder than they really need to be. So I had been seriously considering dual enrollment for JA.
However, I began to read that many Med Schools won't accept "junior level" college classes for your entrance requirements. So, I started re-thinking the possibility of trying to earn college credit early. This led me to consider the possibility pursuing Early Admission for JA (i.e. going to college during his Senior year of High school). This would help with the time in college, but wouldn't help with the cost at all.
FRUSTRATION!
But I started doing more research on the acceptance of Junior College credits. I began to discover that some Medical schools (particularly the State Medical schools that also have matriculation agreements with the state community colleges) DO accept Junior College credits. In addition, since JA would be taking these classes as a High School student, I think this shows advanced ability to do college level work. Finally, JA is seriously considering a major in Biology. This will require many Senior College level science classes so he can easily demonstrate his ability to do well at the College level.
Finally, I had my answer (or so I think) for how to plan the next four years of his education.
Whew! Of course, I need to discuss this option with him and make sure he is OK with it.
JA will be entering 9th grade in a few weeks (since we school year-round). And what I am discovering is O-V-E-R-W-H-E-L-M-I-N-G!!! In many ways, I am thankful. He is a bright kid with a bright future. I just didn't realize how much planning for his future I would be doing when he was 14.
You see, JA has decided he wants to be a doctor. And not just any kind of doctor, but a surgeon. And not just any kind of surgeon, but a neurosurgeon. And hence, my dilemma.
You see, I have looked into my crystal ball and here is what I see:
4 years of high school
4 years of college
4 years of med school
7 yrs of residency
19 years from now, he will begin practicing as a neurosurgeon (assuming he stays on this path) with T-O-N-S of debt (unless I can help him change the odds)
So, my dilemma is to figure out the best way to help him achieve his goals in the shortest time and at the lowest cost.
I have looked into a variety of ways for JA to complete the next four years. I like the Robinson Curriculum and am convinced that it is sufficient for a college preparatory approach. However, I had been branching out some and taking a more eclectic approach for high school - including ways for him to earn college credit while still in high school.
Many high school students take Advanced Placement (AP) exams to earn college credit. However, the exams are pretty difficult and many schools only grant credit if you earn a 4 or 5 (out of 5). The cost is $89, so it does reduce the costs of college as most are worth 3 college credits.
Another way to earn college credit is taking CLEP exams. These are exams that a student can take after studying material and get college credit for passing the test. A passing score is usually around 50. This is a very inexpensive way to earn college credit as each test is approximately $80 and most get you 3 college credits.
Another way we have of earning college credit is through dual-enrollment at our local community college. The state of Florida (and many other states as well) allows high school students to take courses at the local college. In Florida, this is FREE (except home-schoolers pay for books). The student is allowed to enroll in 10th grade and so has 3 years of high school to earn 2 yrs of college credit.
These are GREAT ways to eliminate two years (or more in some cases) of schooling and reduce the cost of college by anywhere from $8000 (community college cost for 2 yrs) to $40,000 (state university cost for two years). However, I discovered that many Medical Schools do NOT accept CLEP credits for the entrance requirements (i.e. Freshman Biology, Freshman Chemistry, Sophomore Chemistry, Freshman Physics, Freshman English, College Math), so that rules out that option for us. Some med schools do not accept AP credits (and some do), but finding a class would be necessary - and personally, I think these tests are harder than they really need to be. So I had been seriously considering dual enrollment for JA.
However, I began to read that many Med Schools won't accept "junior level" college classes for your entrance requirements. So, I started re-thinking the possibility of trying to earn college credit early. This led me to consider the possibility pursuing Early Admission for JA (i.e. going to college during his Senior year of High school). This would help with the time in college, but wouldn't help with the cost at all.
FRUSTRATION!
But I started doing more research on the acceptance of Junior College credits. I began to discover that some Medical schools (particularly the State Medical schools that also have matriculation agreements with the state community colleges) DO accept Junior College credits. In addition, since JA would be taking these classes as a High School student, I think this shows advanced ability to do college level work. Finally, JA is seriously considering a major in Biology. This will require many Senior College level science classes so he can easily demonstrate his ability to do well at the College level.
Finally, I had my answer (or so I think) for how to plan the next four years of his education.
Whew! Of course, I need to discuss this option with him and make sure he is OK with it.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
TJ - 12 and 2
I am FINALLY finding some time to post about TJ's second anniversary with us - and his 12th birthday! Unfortunately, since he doesn't like his picture taken, this is what you get to see of him.
(I think I'll nickname him "Wilson")
You're stuck with pictures of the rest of us.
Celebrating as usual with our donuts
Tim actually wrote out a lengthy list of items that he wanted for his birthday - in English! He got a couple of his wishes - money, a new MP3 player and a trip to see the Oklahoma City Thunder play the Orlando Magic.
As for his second anniversary with us, he has become very thoughtful lately about this anniversary. He is truly processing a lot of issues related to his adoption and to being a part of our family. As is characteristic of an older child adoption, some parts are easy and some parts are difficult. Overall, though, TJ is adjusting very well. He is doing great in school. He played basketball with one of our local Christian schools and did very well. He also is reading his Bible a lot and recently asked to start attending the Chinese Bible study again. He still struggles with the boundaries/limits placed on him since he had so much freedom in China, but he is learning. Many of the sibling struggles we had early on are rarely seen now. TJ even asks a lot about when JA and AT will be home when they are gone somewhere.
I'm so glad we ventured into the unknown territory of older child adoption. I encourage everyone to at least consider it and see if it is right for your family.
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